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The Daily Dread: What To Do When Your Career Is Controlled By Someone Else's Emotions

Breaking Free from Emotional Control at WorkThere's a moment we all know too well. You're standing at the threshold – maybe it's your office, maybe it's a conference room you’re about to enter for a meeting. Your hand hovers over the doorknob, and you pause. In that pause lives a question you've asked yourself hundreds of times: What version of them am I going to get today? That pause? That's your intuition trying to tell you something important.Recognizing the Red FlagsI want to talk about that pause. About how you've learned to read calendar invites like tea leaves, interpreting the tone of emails like some kind of emotional meteorologist. About how you've mastered the art of gauging someone's mood before they even speak, because you've learned – through countless difficult meetings – that your peace depends on their state of mind.Let's be honest about what this really means. When your entire workday hinges on someone else's mood, you're not building your career. You're surviving someone else's emotions. Think about your morning routine. Not the superficial one where you check your emails and plan your tasks, but the deeper one. The one where you scan Teams or Slack for clues about what kind of day it's going to be. The one where you listen for subtle signs of what awaits you. The one where you mentally rehearse different versions of your project update because you've learned that the wrong delivery can set the whole week off course.This isn't normal. This isn't okay. And deep down, you already know this.How Did We Get Here?When did it start? These things never happen overnight. It's a slow fade, so gradual you barely notice it happening. First, you're just being professional. Then you're being strategic. Then you're walking on eggshells. And before you know it, you've built an entire career around predicting and managing someone else's emotions.Here's what we tell ourselves:"It's just a demanding leadership style.''"Everyone has pressure from above.""Things will get better after this quarter.""It's just a rough patch.""Everyone has bad days.""This is just how corporate culture works.""At least I know what to expect."We become masters of rationalization, experts at making excuses for situations that slowly drain our spirit. The longer we stay, the harder it becomes to remember what healthy work feels like. The excuses become a comfort blanket, wrapping us in a false sense of security. But sometimes, in quiet moments – maybe during your morning coffee or your evening commute – you catch glimpses of what could be and what should be.What Breaking Free Looks LikePicture what a normal workday should feel like. Normal is waking up and thinking about your own goals, your own dreams, your own plans for the day. Normal is not having to run an emotional impact assessment before making simple decisions. It's starting your workday focused on innovation, not anticipation. It's contributing in meetings without first calculating the emotional cost. It's pursuing opportunities based on their merit, not on someone's unpredictable reactions. It’s feeling excited about your day, not anxious about someone else's reaction to it.When was the last time you felt that kind of freedom? The truth – and yes, this might sting a bit – is that you're not stuck. You're scared. And that's okay. Fear makes sense when you've spent so long adapting to chaos that the chaos starts feeling like home. But being comfortable with something doesn't make it right.I know moving on isn't simple. Maybe you've invested years in this company. Maybe your role is highly specialized. Maybe your entire professional network is built around this organization. These are real, valid complications. But complications aren't chains – they're puzzles waiting to be solved. Like any puzzle, they can be broken down into smaller pieces. Each piece – whether it's building new skills, expanding your network, or creating financial cushions – has a solution. And with each piece you solve, the bigger picture becomes clearer as you realize your future isn't locked into your present circumstances.You don't need permission to leave a situation that diminishes you. But if you're looking for a sign, let this be it: Your professional growth matters. Your well-being matters. Your right to contribute without fear matters.Your Next StepsThe path forward isn't about making one dramatic leap. It's about laying down stepping stones, one at a time. It might mean:Updating your LinkedIn profile: Refresh your headline and skills to better showcase your value.Reaching out to old colleagues or industry contacts: Not to ask for a job, but to remind yourself that your professional world extends beyond these walls.Starting a side project that excites you: Rekindle your passion to remember what’s possible.Documenting your achievements and contributions: Create evidence that counters the self-doubt toxic environments breed.Meeting with a career coach or mentor: Find someone who can help you see your situation through fresh eyes.Creating an exit plan, even if you’re not ready to use it: Having options is the first step toward feeling empowered.Building an emergency fund: Transform your fear into fuel for future possibilities.Preparing now, even if it's just a "break glass in case of emergencies" contingency, puts you in control of your destiny and not at the mercy of other people's whims.The Choice Is YoursWhether it's a job, a relationship, or any situation where your well-being depends on someone else's mood, know this: You have the right to leave. You have the strength to leave. And most importantly, there's life beyond leaving. If you're reading this and thinking, "This isn't about me," but your stomach is in knots, then this is absolutely about you. That knot in your stomach? That's your body trying to tell you what your mind isn't ready to admit.If someone else's mood is the deciding factor in how your day goes, it's time to ask yourself one simple question: Is this really the story you want to keep living? Imagine starting your day without bracing for impact. Just you, your coffee, and your plans. This isn't a fantasy – it's what life looks like on the other side of leaving. Your peace of mind isn't negotiable. Your professional worth isn't something you need to re-earn every morning.That door you're standing in front of? The one making you pause? It's not just a door to another workday. It's a reminder that every threshold is also a choice. And maybe today is the day you choose to walk toward something better, instead of bracing for what's behind that door.Author: John Julitz, Manager, Global Public Relations, ManpowerGroup.For more tips on how to land a dream job and reach your career goals, visit ManpowerGroup’s Career Resources.

Show Me the Money! Master the Art of Asking for a Raise

Asking your boss for a raise can seem intimidating, but it's a normal and necessary step for career growth. It's a conversation that requires careful preparation, confidence, and effective communication. However, with the right approach, you can increase your chances of success and secure the salary you deserve.Here are some ways to achieve the recognition and financial rewards you desire:1. Assess Your Worth and AccomplishmentsBefore initiating the raise conversation, it's crucial to evaluate your worth within the organization. Take a step back and objectively assess your accomplishments, the value you bring to the table, and the impact you've had on the company's success. Vague statements about working hard don't provide compelling evidence you deserve more pay. Come armed with cold hard metrics that quantify and demonstrate your value. Show how you contribute to the bottom line with facts like increasing sales by 30%, cutting costs by 15%, or improving productivity by 40%. Provide concrete examples like landing major new clients, retaining key customers, or receiving rave reviews and feedback. Back up your assertion that you provide unique value with numerical examples.Make your life easier by tracking accomplishments and completed tasks on a regular basis. By recording these metrics on a weekly or monthly basis throughout the year, you can have a readily available record of your achievements. This can prove beneficial during performance reviews that include self-assessments or management touch bases.2. Research the MarketThe next step in building a compelling case for a raise is being well-informed about salary benchmarks and industry standards for your role and work responsibilities. Don't arbitrarily throw out a raise number. Do your homework and find data on comparable salaries for someone with your role, experience, and performance. You can refer to reliable resources like the ManpowerGroup Vietnam Salary Guide 2025 for a more specific view of market salaries. Know what the market rate is for your skillset so you can anchor your request in reasonable expectations, not just what you want. Being aware of norms also prevents inadvertently asking for too little. Come armed with researched numbers.3. Timing is EverythingTiming can make or break your request for a raise. Pick your moment wisely when asking for a raise. Avoid high-stress crunch times like right before a major deadline or during hectic seasons like the holidays. Look for windows when your manager seems more relaxed and receptive. The beginning of a new budget cycle or after completing a successful project are opportune times. Scheduling a meeting for late afternoon on a Friday could find them in a good mood ready for the weekend. Capitalize on positive energy and events versus adding one more thing to their plate.4. Craft Your PitchIt’s time to put your plan into action. Start by preparing a well-crafted pitch that highlights your achievements, the value you've added to the company, and your future potential. Remember, confidence is key. Present your case with conviction, articulating your contributions in a way that showcases your expertise and the positive impact it has had on the organization. Script out your justification and think through likely objections or questions. Focus on the benefits to the company like improving retention, motivation, and performance. Practicing aloud ensures your delivery sounds polished, calm, and professional, not nervous or entitled. Preparation leads to greater clarity and a higher chance of success.5. Embrace NegotiationApproach the raise conversation as a negotiation, rather than a one-sided request. Consider suggesting a phased rollout, performance triggers, or a smaller upfront amount with review for more later. Be prepared to discuss alternative compensation options, such as bonuses, additional vacation time, professional development opportunities, improved benefits, etc. Show your willingness to work collaboratively to find a solution that satisfies both parties.6. Maintain Professionalism and OpennessDuring the conversation, maintain a professional and positive attitude. Avoid becoming defensive or confrontational if your request is met with resistance. Instead, approach the discussion as an opportunity for growth and understanding. Listen actively to your manager's feedback, ask thoughtful questions, and demonstrate your commitment to the company's success while emphasizing your own aspirations.7. Follow-Up and AdaptAfter the initial conversation, follow up with a thoughtful email summarizing the discussion and any agreed-upon post-conversation actions. However, the request turns out, thank your manager for their time and consideration. Make it clear you respect their decision and appreciate the opportunity to have an open dialogue. Don't threaten to quit or engage in hardball tactics. If the raise is declined, ask what steps you can take to earn an increase in the future. Maintain the relationship in a cordial, professional manner that leaves the door open for future opportunities.If you employ these strategies, you’ll be better positioned for personal growth and financial success. But remember, if your request is declined it's not the end of the world. If you consistently face obstacles to advancement or fair compensation in your current organization, you may consider exploring opportunities elsewhere. Update your resume, network with professionals in your field, and keep an eye out for openings that align with your career goals.If you’re not being fairly compensated, someone out there will be willing to pay you what you’re worth. Go after what you feel you deserve.For more tips on how to reach your career goals, visit ManpowerGroup’s Career Resources.