There's a moment we all know too well. You're standing at the threshold – maybe it's your office, maybe it's a conference room you’re about to enter for a meeting. Your hand hovers over the doorknob, and you pause. In that pause lives a question you've asked yourself hundreds of times: What version of them am I going to get today? That pause? That's your intuition trying to tell you something important.
Recognizing the Red Flags
I want to talk about that pause. About how you've learned to read calendar invites like tea leaves, interpreting the tone of emails like some kind of emotional meteorologist. About how you've mastered the art of gauging someone's mood before they even speak, because you've learned – through countless difficult meetings – that your peace depends on their state of mind.
Let's be honest about what this really means. When your entire workday hinges on someone else's mood, you're not building your career. You're surviving someone else's emotions. Think about your morning routine. Not the superficial one where you check your emails and plan your tasks, but the deeper one. The one where you scan Teams or Slack for clues about what kind of day it's going to be. The one where you listen for subtle signs of what awaits you. The one where you mentally rehearse different versions of your project update because you've learned that the wrong delivery can set the whole week off course.
This isn't normal. This isn't okay. And deep down, you already know this.
How Did We Get Here?
When did it start? These things never happen overnight. It's a slow fade, so gradual you barely notice it happening. First, you're just being professional. Then you're being strategic. Then you're walking on eggshells. And before you know it, you've built an entire career around predicting and managing someone else's emotions.
Here's what we tell ourselves:
"It's just a demanding leadership style.''
"Everyone has pressure from above."
"Things will get better after this quarter."
"It's just a rough patch."
"Everyone has bad days."
"This is just how corporate culture works."
"At least I know what to expect."
We become masters of rationalization, experts at making excuses for situations that slowly drain our spirit. The longer we stay, the harder it becomes to remember what healthy work feels like. The excuses become a comfort blanket, wrapping us in a false sense of security. But sometimes, in quiet moments – maybe during your morning coffee or your evening commute – you catch glimpses of what could be and what should be.
What Breaking Free Looks Like
Picture what a normal workday should feel like. Normal is waking up and thinking about your own goals, your own dreams, your own plans for the day. Normal is not having to run an emotional impact assessment before making simple decisions. It's starting your workday focused on innovation, not anticipation. It's contributing in meetings without first calculating the emotional cost. It's pursuing opportunities based on their merit, not on someone's unpredictable reactions. It’s feeling excited about your day, not anxious about someone else's reaction to it.
When was the last time you felt that kind of freedom? The truth – and yes, this might sting a bit – is that you're not stuck. You're scared. And that's okay. Fear makes sense when you've spent so long adapting to chaos that the chaos starts feeling like home. But being comfortable with something doesn't make it right.
I know moving on isn't simple. Maybe you've invested years in this company. Maybe your role is highly specialized. Maybe your entire professional network is built around this organization. These are real, valid complications. But complications aren't chains – they're puzzles waiting to be solved. Like any puzzle, they can be broken down into smaller pieces. Each piece – whether it's building new skills, expanding your network, or creating financial cushions – has a solution. And with each piece you solve, the bigger picture becomes clearer as you realize your future isn't locked into your present circumstances.
You don't need permission to leave a situation that diminishes you. But if you're looking for a sign, let this be it: Your professional growth matters. Your well-being matters. Your right to contribute without fear matters.
Your Next Steps
The path forward isn't about making one dramatic leap. It's about laying down stepping stones, one at a time. It might mean:
Updating your LinkedIn profile: Refresh your headline and skills to better showcase your value.
Reaching out to old colleagues or industry contacts: Not to ask for a job, but to remind yourself that your professional world extends beyond these walls.
Starting a side project that excites you: Rekindle your passion to remember what’s possible.
Documenting your achievements and contributions: Create evidence that counters the self-doubt toxic environments breed.
Meeting with a career coach or mentor: Find someone who can help you see your situation through fresh eyes.
Creating an exit plan, even if you’re not ready to use it: Having options is the first step toward feeling empowered.
Building an emergency fund: Transform your fear into fuel for future possibilities.
Preparing now, even if it's just a "break glass in case of emergencies" contingency, puts you in control of your destiny and not at the mercy of other people's whims.
The Choice Is Yours
Whether it's a job, a relationship, or any situation where your well-being depends on someone else's mood, know this: You have the right to leave. You have the strength to leave. And most importantly, there's life beyond leaving. If you're reading this and thinking, "This isn't about me," but your stomach is in knots, then this is absolutely about you. That knot in your stomach? That's your body trying to tell you what your mind isn't ready to admit.
If someone else's mood is the deciding factor in how your day goes, it's time to ask yourself one simple question: Is this really the story you want to keep living? Imagine starting your day without bracing for impact. Just you, your coffee, and your plans. This isn't a fantasy – it's what life looks like on the other side of leaving. Your peace of mind isn't negotiable. Your professional worth isn't something you need to re-earn every morning.
That door you're standing in front of? The one making you pause? It's not just a door to another workday. It's a reminder that every threshold is also a choice. And maybe today is the day you choose to walk toward something better, instead of bracing for what's behind that door.
Author: John Julitz, Manager, Global Public Relations, ManpowerGroup.
For more tips on how to land a dream job and reach your career goals, visit ManpowerGroup’s Career Resources.